Disclaimer: This post intentionally uses triggering language. I invite you to explore the metaphor behind these words/terms used. This is NOT a post about drug addiction. Please get help if you are struggling with this condition. ![]() I haven't written on this platform in a while because I actually have another blog site on my official website but I guess this platform always felt more unfiltered. It always smelt more like red wine and streams of consciousness strung together at 3am. So here we are. You're probably thinking from this title 'Uhh...Mayfair...Yeah what are you on?" but stay with me a minute. I genuinely believe that by nature we are all drug addicts; perhaps to varying degrees but nonetheless we're all hooked. Good old' Webster defines a drug as: "a substance intended for use in the diagnosis, cure, mitigation, treatment, or prevention of disease" Let's start by establishing a common understanding of the word 'disease'. The word disease breaks down to 'dis-ease' or a lack of ease. In other terms a state of being (physically, emotionally or spiritual) that makes us feel a lack of ease or in one word - uncomfortable. To have a disease is to be in a state charecterised by discomfort So it was at 1am on this Saturday night/Sunday morning in this city that never sleeps that it hit me - shit I think I'm a drug addict. I was alone in my apartment - just listening to music. Now, I'm alone 90% of the time so it wasn't really anything new, my craft just requires it. It's near enough impossible to write and think introspectively around people. But anyway I got the sudden urge to get rid of the 'dis-ease' that sometimes comes with being alone. I was in need of a fix. So my mind scanned the catalog of drugs on the market to cure this dis-ease that at one point or another had been a drug of choice. Some more socially acceptable than others (as is with drugs right?)... Text a guy I used to talk to? Grab a bottle of wine? Aimlessly scroll through social media? Buy some cigarettes? Binge watch some Netflix? On another night I may have just picked any one of these 'drugs' to 'diagnose, cure, mitigate, treat, or prevent' my alone and be done with it. But tonight was different. I decide to take a step back and question: what if I just sat with this dis-ease for a while? what if I embraced the discomfort that was showing up in my current state? What if I explored it? What if I sat with it just for the night? It got me thinking - how many of us avoid feelings of dis-ease, of discomfort through various means? how many of us are drug-addicts by nature? For you - the state of discomfort you may be trying to 'diagnose, cure, mitigate, treat, or prevent' may not be being alone but if I know anything about humans it's that you have something. Humans are addicted to comfort. We are wired to pursuit comfort/remain in it, which by default means we have a strong tendency to find things or vices to avoid a lack of it. Drug addicts. But sometimes (i.e. all of the time) sitting in the discomfort for a while leads to magic. It leads to strength, it leads to growth, it leads to evolution, it leads to the unraveling of oneself. So from a recovering addict, I invite you to join me on this journey of rehabilitation, of dropping our vices in the name of...growth. All my love Mayfair
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